When Brokenness Speaks
I am here, Lord. I desire you, yet our communion is incomplete. My heart-storms keep us apart. Pride stifles my loving you. Self-doubt haunts me. I sift through negative thoughts, unspoken lusts, past hurts, and I wonder why you still love me. Chaos seems to be our shared tea. My life drama preoccupies my prayer. I am here, at least the parts of me that are ready to find you on my rough sea.
When you withdraw, I want to find you and hold you. I want to rest my face on your chest to comfort us both. I have heard the haters speak ill of you. I have seen the rage the demons have for you. I know them because so often the perceived demons are within me. I am blind to my own life.
I was part of the crowd that pressed in on you, longing to see your eyes and feel your body. I am sorry you felt crushed. My eyes could not comprehend the healing of the paralytic. His crutches were sold for bread. I still weep recalling the child you healed in his mother’s arms. I desperately want to feel what that child felt, to lay my soul again upon the kindness in your eyes, to smell your presence. I will continue to press into your tenderness.
People with great need speak from their brokenness. They don’t hide from you. The demonic, the blind, the pained, all reveal your authority. I hear them speak for me. I want to be among those who know you.
Fr. Ronald Raab
Ronald Patrick Raab, CSC, is pastor of Sacred Heart Parish in Colorado Springs. Learn more at http://www.ronaldraab.com.
Broken But Not Divided 
Dear Fr. Raab – once again, your reflection spoke directly to my heart (and to the place I too often find myself spiritually). The longing for consolation is so intense on so many days – especially those on which the chasm seems the widest. It is comforting to know I am not alone. Thanks for offering solidarity. It helps.
For Raab, your reflection today is so beautiful! You always manage to go deep to where I need to be. I so appreciate your thoughts! God’s blessings. Barb Wilcox
Thank you for sharing this reflection with the readers of Give Us his Day. I also felt you spoke to my neediness and my heart. The phrase, “I wonder why you still love me” echoed my own deep-seated wonder and gratitude that He does “still love me”. I look forward to reading more of your Spririt-filled meditations.
Your poetic message nailed me! TY Suzanne P. SND
Thank you Father Ron,
I want to lay my head on the chest of Jesus and feel His Love penetrate my soul. Some times I weep for His Love to get me thru another day. Many times when I am completely broken I feel Him come in to comfort me and I am able to go forward.
Jesus thank you for your Love. I long to see your Face.
I also appreciated your Reflection in Give Us This Day and how I ponder
at times how God can still love me when I repeat my same doubts and insecurities.
Father Raab, this Reflection, and all these I read on this site are so close to my inner thoughts and heart. I was reading my Give Us This Day tonight, and your Reflection was so powerful, I had to look you up. Im sure ill return to this site often to read your reflections that are from your heart. Thank you so much.