This article from Celebrate! Magazine, published in 2009, remains a favorite Christmas season reflection for me. Hope you enjoy it again.
Sock Exchange
Preaching on Christmas Eve frustrates me. I never know how to reach the exhausted, “perfect mother” struggling to bring her newborn baby to Mass because her in-laws insist. The tired father drenched with worry over paying for the family’s gifts strains to hear the evening Gospel. The single relatives back from college often feel most alone on Christmas Eve. The aging parents grieve the loss of Christmas’ past and the recent death of their only daughter. Some people scurry into the church building at the last minute feeling their place is only on the margins of the community anyway.
Christmas evokes mostly tears of loss for me as I look behind people’s smiles and sugar-induced enthusiasm. Behind the red scarves and new neckties lies the reality of people often forcing their way into happiness and love. On Christmas Eve real life comes to the surface when we least expect. I uncovered this authentic life several years ago when I tried a different approach to preaching during the holy Eve of Christmas.
Before Mass, I wrapped three items as gifts to be opened during the homily. I carried the three gifts in a colorful shopping bag and explained I had just received these gifts and wanted to open them at Mass on Christmas Eve. I ripped open the first gift with wide-eyed enthusiasm. My childlike approach revealed a new teddy bear. I reminisced about our sacred memories as children and the holy bonds of family. I spoke softly that Christmas also conjures up memories of grief, loss and unhappiness with many people we love. The grace of Christmas heals the past and makes room for Christ to be born even in our brokenness and sadness.
The second gift revealed a bag of candy. I preached the sweetness of God’s covenant of love even in times of war and uncertainty. After I spoke about each of these first two gifts, I gave each gift to a different stranger sitting in the pews. What you receive as a gift, give as a gift.
I tore off the wrapping paper from the third gift which revealed a pair of nylon socks. The assembly laughed as my face fell and I muttered about getting such an ordinary gift. I told the assembly that the Incarnation demands a lot of work on our part. I explained that Christ was born on earth to reveal the divine and human dignity of all people. I held up the dark socks and begged them to serve people who long for such dignity. The socks called people to action to serve others who go without adequate clothing, food, shelter, purpose and relationships. Walking in the footsteps of the Crucified demands a life commitment for all believers. I handed the pair of black dress socks to a stranger, a stocky, older man sitting at the end of a crowded pew. His rugged features, deep wrinkles and sparkling eyes revealed a man who had obviously made his living working with his hands with diligence and care.
The Advent Gospels prepare us for this holy night. Our hearts cannot weary while we wait for the face of Christ. Anxieties must not catch us by surprise like a trap. Great signs and wonders will tell the story of redemption. After Mass I introduced myself to the working class, kindly man and his wife. She had suddenly begun to feel ill after everyone had left the church. The three of us sat in the pew for a few minutes until her heart felt better and she felt strong enough to leave.
Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy in waiting for the Lord. I was seeing before me a woman making crooked ways straight, waiting for Christ’s promise to be fulfilled. I saw in her eyes the readiness to see the salvation of God. Her heart was preparing to be birthed into eternal Light. I felt drawn to this couple. I knew I had given this man the socks for a reason. I could already feel in our first encounter that our relationship was only just beginning.
A few days later I received a phone call from the gentleman who received the socks. His wife was very ill and in the hospital. I raced over to the hospital’s Intensive Care Unit to find her entire family at her bedside. She looked up at me and whispered to her husband, “It’s the sock-priest.” A few days later she died in her sleep.
At her funeral, her husband walked into the church to greet me. He pulled up his pant legs and told me that he was wearing his new socks for his wife’s funeral. We hugged each other and we both wept in our newborn friendship. I heard the Prophet John’s words rattling in my heart. If you have extra socks, give them away. Stop hoarding possessions and give them freely to others. I felt deep within my soul the reason for the giving. His grief was now being aided with the parish’s presence. The socks had now become the instrument of healing. He would always remember and grieve over the Christmas his wife died. He would also remember the Christmas Eve the parish reached out to both of them.
Every Christmas and every Easter that followed, the elderly widower wore his black dress socks to Mass. After Mass he made a point of stopping me in the lobby, shaking my hand with one hand and pulling up his pant leg with the other. He greeted me with gratitude and with tears. I looked forward to those holy greetings each year, where kindness and peace embraced. The holy greeting was a reminder for me that God is still coming to earth to save us from ourselves.
I preach now on Christmas Eve with even greater sensitivity to people’s’ stories. I realize the sock exchange with a kind-hearted stranger will never be duplicated. So I strive to break through the cultural wrappings that hide the season’s love. I reach out to tired parents, the bickering relatives, the ill single man or the couple drowning in debt. Now I wait for the gift God gives me, this authentic life, in the apprehensive stranger with cold feet sitting at the end of the crowded pew.
Today’s gospel, Luke 2:41-52, illustrates a parent’s worst fear, a missing child. With much miscommunication, Jesus stayed behind to preach in the temple without the knowledge of his parents, Mary and Joseph. We can all imagine the fear that ran through the minds and bodies of Mary and Joseph as they searched diligently for Jesus in the caravan.
Mary and Joseph find Jesus in the temple. Jesus does not seem concerned that his parents are frantic. This gospel begins to outline his death and resurrection, even though he is still a youth. First, he is lost and then his parents find him after three days. This refers to his passion, death, and resurrection. After three days, he becomes a new person. Well, we see this visibly in the temple where he is preaching and answering questions. In other words, his real identity emerges, his place among the leaders of faith. He was lost but now is found among those who hear his message of peace.
How ironic that as we celebrate the Incarnation during the Christmas season, today in the gospel the real presence of Jesus is already lost. Jesus asks his parents, “Why are you looking for me?” Jesus assumes that his parents would know that he is in the temple doing the work of the Father. I want to hold on to this question because so often I do not fully understand why I search for him. This question from a youth is a deep question for all people, no matter our age. It is also a question that in the Christmas season is essential for our spiritual growth, “Why are you looking for me?”
We need to be honest about why we search for Christ, the person of Jesus. We cannot live the mystery of our lives apart from Jesus. He is our hope when we are lost, when we get caught in personal sin, heartache, and ill will. He is our direction when we believe we have all the answers, when we are confident that we can do life on our own. Jesus is our creative life even when we feel lost in our jobs or unimportant in our families. Jesus is the place we rest when we are tired and emptied from beating ourselves up when things just do not go the way we planned. We pursue Jesus because he desires us; we already belong to him.
I wonder how we would answer the question Jesus poses to his parents? I desire with all my heart to find my way to his side, to his creative love for our world and for me. This Christmas season is just another step in our awkward search for Jesus, of being lost and found. Yet, Jesus makes a home within us. We already have what we desire, the love God has for each of us. Christmas is creating a home within our hearts to find that Jesus is not lost, but living among us today in all that we do.
The gospel tells us that Mary, the mother of Jesus, held all these things in her heart. She pondered the mystery of his sorrows as well as his goodness. I hold on to the life of Jesus in this Christmas season within my heart, as I know we all long to do. For the mystery of the Incarnation is teaching us still how to love and how to live together. We seek the Holy Family since we find our home in such a mystery.
God give you peace,
Fr. Ron Raab, CSC, Pastor
Fundraising for Saint André House
Dear Parishioners and Friends,
I am deeply humbled by your response to remodeling the former rectory. I am so grateful for the funds raised so far in our campaign. This is the next step to our continuing to update our parish buildings in preparation for our 100th Anniversary. I am very excited about finishing this project. The building should be finished by March 2022.
I realize not all of you can contribute to this project. It has been quite a year. Amid a worldwide pandemic, there are so many loose ends to our next phases of life, school, and family relationships. However, I am so pleased that you have trusted us in this pandemic to provide a safe place for worship and education. I am so grateful to see so many people returning to Masses on the weekends. Thank you for being here at our parish.
As we have said, the reason for the remodel is that the building has not been used for its intended purpose for 25 years. I can’t continue to justify not caring for our goods, our resources, and our buildings here on this block. Many may not know that it would have been too expensive to demolish the old rectory and build something new because of the water issues along Colorado Ave. I am happy to keep the historical building which will now provide handicap accessible restrooms and extra meeting space. Currently on Sunday mornings, our Faith Formation is cramped in the Parish Center. With the addition of the Saint André House, we will have some room in the new building for coffee and donuts and two classrooms upstairs. I am sure when the building is finished, we will have to adjust our use of the building. We will take one step at a time and experiment to find the best combinations of use for the Parish Center and for Saint André House.
People have also asked why I don’t live there. Over 25 years ago, the parish decided not to have the priests on site. The building is too exposed and unsafe for people to live there. At night, the grounds become littered with needles, bottles, and folks sleeping around our buildings. I am very aware that our neighbors need a place to sleep. I felt it would be too much for priests to live in the old rectory. We would never have privacy if a light was on at night. Also, I don’t think it is good for our Holy Cross community life to live so close to where we work. We are on call 24 hours a day; we also need so time to rest.
When I arrived here as pastor in 2013, there were no obvious signs or mention of the Congregation of Holy Cross at the parish. It was not in the bulletin and there were no images on the walls. Since I arrived, I have tried to introduce you to the spirituality of our religious community, Holy Cross. We now have a Cross and Anchor in the church lobby and a first-class relic of Saint André Bessette in the new altar. And now, one of our buildings will reflect the name of Saint André Bessette. He is the first saint in our religious community. His spirituality of prayer and service, I pray, will continue to teach us at Sacred Heart how to include the example of Saint André in our own lives of prayer.
Saint André House. I love the name and even more the spirituality of service his name stands for in our community. We will continue to strive to extend God’s love beyond our parish block. The pandemic has limited some of our outreach services, but we shall prevail.
Our fundraising efforts will end in February 2022. Thank you for all you have offered this project. I am deeply grateful. Now, we need to continue our efforts. The costs have fluctuated because of code issues and the availability of goods. I know you are as confident as I am that this project will be for our common good. It will be such a great complement to our restored church. I have tried my best to restore our buildings. I want this community to last more than just 100 years. There is more to come. I can’t wait.
Please, if you have not yet contributed to the restoration of Saint André House, please do so. Please know of my prayer for you as we grow, change, develop and pray. I am so happy to be your pastor as we continue to move through the pandemic and the upkeep of our community and its buildings.
Broken But Not Divided 