“Our eyes”
Pencil: Ronald Raab, CSC

Our eyes are fixed on the Lord, pleading his mercy. (Psalm 123)

“Prophet”
Painting: Ronald Raab, CSC July 4, 2015

Jesus said to them, ” A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.” (Gospel for the Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time)

(I painted this piece this morning in our studio at the parish. I am learning how to paint with a knife.)

“Thomas, the wonder of faith”
Knife Painting: Ronald Raab, CSC

Thomas, show me how to touch the wounds of the Risen Christ.

Help me probe the mystery of suffering when life overwhelms people.

Teach me to reach out from my apprehension to honor his sacred scars.

Give me courage to befriend what I fear.

Thomas, you stood with your brothers behind locked doors unable to confirm their words.

Let me not hesitate to examine what is dark, lonely and shadowed within me.

Help me from my own vulnerability to affirm the testimony of believing people.

Give me courage to befriend what I fear.

Thomas, I beg you to show my heart how to believe and my lips to speak the truth.

Open my narrow perspectives as you reach out to the nail marks on Jesus’ hands.

Release my worry as you put your hand into the Savior’s side.

Give me courage to befriend what I fear.

Part my lips and show my heart how to sing your profession of faith,

“My Lord, and my God.”

( I just painted this piece this afternoon. This is my first face painting with a knife. On this Feast of Thomas, Apostle, I wanted to share his face of wonder and faith)

“Jairus’ Daughter”
Sketch: Ronald Raab, CSC

June 28, 2015 (From our parish bulletin)

In Mark’s gospel (5:21-43) we read about two healing miracles. Jairus’ daughter is cured and so is the woman who has suffered hemorrhages for twelve years. Jairus had the courage to ask Jesus for healing for his daughter and the ill woman simply wanted to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment because she did not feel worthy of healing or even being within his presence.

We all need to seek Jesus for healing. I know some of you are shy about your faith, simply because you do not feel worthy of such an encounter of love. If there is one thing I could change about the Church today, it is this sense or perception of feeling unworthy by so many people. I want you to go for it, touch Jesus’ hem and see what happens. Pray as you are, not how you think Jesus wants you to be.

Over the years, I have watched people who sit in the last pews of all the churches in which I have served. I know that some of you want to hide in the back so not to be noticed. I understand that you do not want to use your voices to sing out when the hymns begin because you do not feel that your voices matter in the collective worship. I know that you are hesitant to offer your voices in response to the prayers of the Mass because somehow you already feel judged by God and tender from the ambiguous welcome you sense from people around you.

I realize that some of you hesitate to walk down the aisle of the church to the altar table to receive the Eucharist because you feel unworthy to taste the Body and Blood of Christ. You have heard all of your life that your decisions, your choices, your life circumstances and even those you love may keep you from the grace of opening your hands to receive the living Christ. I understand with my entire heart that some of you only want to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment and that will be enough for you. Meanwhile, you hide in the corner of the church, thinking that no one else will see your hesitation or come close to you to ask you to participate in our community or join a committee or in some way serve beyond your expertise. You want to simply reach out to Jesus blindly and hope for the best.

I learn a great deal from people who desire to reach out to Jesus’ garment in quiet and hesitation. Many of you are shy and do not believe that you have enough faith to make a difference. I listen with great care to the stories of people who are searching for the healing of Jesus but have never really experienced it in their lives. I hope that you will never give up the search. I pray that you may enter into our worship with a full and active realization that you belong even though your music teacher once told you that you couldn’t sing.

I hear from people that there are many people in our neighborhood and in our city looking for something new and hope filled, but they cannot quite put their fingers on what that might be. You are looking for your faith to make sense, to be fed by preaching and to feel that you belong. I listen to many of you who simply want your church to mean something to your aches and pains, your divorces and lost children or your father’s new diagnosis of dementia.

I want you to know that touching the hem of Jesus is all it takes. You do not have to sing every song or even feel that your name is known in this community. You do not have to be perfect. In fact, throw that notion out some stained-glass window, please! The only thing that I would encourage you to pray about is that your hand belongs on Jesus’ garment. In other words, your life matters to Jesus. He wants to heal your dissatisfaction about the Church or your guilt over how you have raised your children. You and Jesus belong together. No matter how you need to find him, please do so. No matter how you think you are negatively perceived within the Church, let it go. Touch the garment of the living Christ just as you are and you will be clothed in mercy and peace.

Here are some things to consider as you reach out to touch the hem of Jesus:

Jesus, I ache for healing because________________________

Help me reach out beyond my hesitation so ________________________.

Jesus, help me to get over my feeling of unworthiness_____________________.

Jesus, sometimes I feel all alone in my faith and so I ___________________.

Jesus, claim me as your own so that _____________________

Heal me O Lord, come to my aid and ________________________

“Inner Storms”
Drawing: Ronald Raab, CSC

Dear Believers in Jesus,

The gospel of Mark (4:35-41) invites us into the calm of Jesus’ presence. “Jesus woke up, rebuked the wind and said to the sea, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, ‘Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?’ They were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘who then is this whom even the wind and sea obey?”

In these past few years, our area here in Colorado Springs has experienced a variety of storms, from fire to flood, from wind and hail to cold and snow. The great storms in life however, do not come from the water in our basements or the leaks in our roofs. They come from the deep uncertainties we carry in the recesses of our hearts, the destruction we feel from the infidelity of other people. Often grief is a rapid storm that settles into our lives from the people and possessions we lose in this life. We are all vulnerable to passing storms.

Many people face a variety of storms that seem to put their lives off-kilter. The unsteadiness of losing a job and the questions of raising children get the best of many parents. The untimely diagnosis of cancer in a young mother’s breast forces the family to learn how to live differently. The college student whose reputation is destroyed from using drugs can set worry a sail for years to come. The high school senior who does not get into his first choice of colleges brings the dark cloud over his future and shakes up his sense of entitlement.

Some years ago, I experienced job loss and uncertainty about my own future. At that time, it was difficult to pray, to pay attention and to relax. I worried endlessly. I was terrified beyond measure. I would sit in front of the television during my very early prayer time and just stare instead of being silent in prayer. It was all I could do, to just be there in front of the television instead of in front of the face of Jesus. I was so full of fear.

I eventually found my way back into prayer and realized that the storm brought me into a deeper trust that the calm presence of Jesus had never left me. I am confident that storms do not poke a leak in our trust. These inner storms have the potential of making us stronger.

Feeling terrified in the storms of life is very natural. However, if we believe that Jesus is at the center of life, then nothing should rock our boats. The life of the Holy Spirit within our hearts helps us steady the course. I invite you this summer to reflect on how worry, fret and fear gets the best of you. I encourage you to experience the love and assurance that Jesus has for you, your families and loved ones.

I pray that our parish community can help get people back on steady ground. I pray that the storms of divorce, job loss, and illness give way to the grace to keep going if you are feeling overwhelmed. I hope as well, that you invite your friends to our parish, to feel and experience for themselves a community that survives the storms of drug addiction, loneliness and fear, of uncertainty about work and confusion about how to make ends meet. I hope that calm can prevail, that nothing in your life will keep you from experiencing the healing love and presence of Christ Jesus.

I invite you to steady your lives and search for the face of Jesus. Here are some questions to ponder before the storms get too severe:

When I do not get my own way, I usually fret over ________________________.

I struggle to pray when I am feeling _____________________________________.

Lately, the storms that seem most unsettling in my heart are ____________________.

I get so discouraged over ________________________________.

I want Jesus to _____________________________.

I am lost in my relationships and I hope to_____________________.

This summer I hope I can spend more time in the presence of Jesus so that ___________.

My family seems unsteady lately because______________________.

Jesus, be for me the steady ground of ______________________.

Jesus, wake up and find me so that ___________________________.

Blessings,

Fr. Ron

(From our parish bulletin for this weekend)

“The Fragile Wise”
Colored Pencil: Ronald Raab, CSC June 2015

From the second Letter of Saint Paul to the Corinthians:

“We are treated as deceivers and yet truthful; as unrecognized and yet acknowledged; as dying and behold we live; as chastised and yet not put to death; as sorrowful yet always rejoicing; as poor yet enriching many; as having nothing and yet possessing all things.”

 Last year I sat with a spiritual direction that has been listening to me for almost twenty years. We touch base at least twice a year even though we do not live in the same city. I have always sought a spiritual director in every city, but he is the one priest who listens with a unique ear, a holy and longing perspective on what is behind the words I speak.

He told me with boldness that I am to seek wisdom. He invited me into a new phase of life in not only my priesthood but within my heart. Wisdom, as he reminded me is not for the weak or faint of heart, it is a real paradox such as we hear in today’s first reading at Mass.

Wisdom is all about letting go. Wisdom is overcoming fear. Wisdom is learning the truth of our lives and the real reverence of our voices, so that we can live the truth and use our voices for other people.

Wisdom is living the paradox that when we finally learn of the real things in life our bodies change, our physical strength become weakness and our physical beauty is replaced with the loveliness of the soul.

Wisdom is not a possession but a journey. Wisdom is not a plan but a discovery. Wisdom cannot be bought but costs our entire lives. Wisdom cannot be manufactured but only is given with grace. Wisdom is not artificial but comes with the natural process of aging. Wisdom is not always obvious, but a treasure sunken deep within pain, suffering, doubt and turmoil.

I pray that I may discover this holy wisdom before my personal weaknesses and sins grow even stronger, so strong that wisdom will decide to move on to someone else. I pray that we all may search for the holy exchange of our attitudes for the wisdom of God’s whisper within our hearts. I pray that we may use the strength of our bodies to house the holy force of the Spirit’s love. I pray that we all may recognize our accomplishments as a house of cards and live for our place prepared for us in the Kingdom of God.